The Wobbly Chronicles: A Day in the Life of a Chiari Warrior

Introducing Marla Jenkins

Meet Marla Jenkins—a quick-witted, caffeine-dependent Chiari warrior navigating life one dizzy step at a time. With a brain that occasionally feels like it’s playing musical chairs in her skull, Marla’s daily adventures are a masterclass in slapstick survival.

Whether she’s losing a battle with gravity before breakfast, failing a DMV sobriety test while stone-cold sober, or taking down an entire grocery store display with the sheer power of her wobbly existence, Marla faces each ridiculous moment with humor, resilience, and an impressive ability to trip over absolutely nothing.

Life with Chiari Malformation is unpredictable, but Marla? She’s always ready for the next absurd misadventure. Welcome to The Wobbly Chronicles—where balance is optional, laughter is inevitable, and every day is a new chapter in the art of staying upright.

It all started when Marla Jenkins woke up and immediately lost a fight with gravity. One second she was sitting up in bed; the next, she was making a graceful nosedive into her laundry pile.

“Good morning to me,” she mumbled, peeling a sock off her forehead.

Episode 1: The Great Coffee Catastrophe

Determined to start the day right, Marla shuffled to the kitchen, where her first opponent awaited: the coffee maker. The headache was already pulsing at the back of her skull like a strobe light at a bad rave, but coffee was non-negotiable.

Just as she lifted the mug, her hands decided to reenact the San Andreas Fault. The mug jittered, teetered, and—splat!—Marla baptized herself in fresh-brewed regret.

“Good thing third-degree burns are in this season,” she muttered, peeling off her coffee-soaked shirt.

Episode 2: The Wobble Waltz at the DMV

Despite feeling like her brain was actively trying to escape her skull, Marla had an appointment at the DMV. She stepped inside, took a deep breath—then promptly tripped over absolutely nothing.

A security guard eyed her suspiciously. “Ma’am, have you been drinking?”

“Only coffee,” she said. “Mostly on my shirt.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Walk in a straight line.”

Marla attempted, but with her Chiari-induced balance issues, she looked like a penguin on roller skates. The guard sighed and waved her in.

“I’m just gonna assume you're not a flight risk.”

Episode 3: The Grocery Aisle Gauntlet

By afternoon, Marla’s vision was playing a fun game called “Let’s See How Blurry We Can Get Before She Walks into a Display.”

Spoiler: She lost.

She smacked right into a pyramid of canned beans, sending them rolling in every direction. Somewhere, a toddler clapped. A store clerk sighed deeply. Marla, still tangled in a pile of kidney beans, offered a thumbs-up.

“Don’t worry, folks! Just testing gravity. Still works!”

Episode 4: The Doctor’s Office Fiasco

At her neurologist’s office, Marla tried to explain her day.

“So, I woke up with a headache, lost my coffee to my shirt, failed a sobriety test while sober, and committed vegetable aisle manslaughter.”

The doctor nodded. “Sounds like a textbook Chiari day.”

“What’s the prescription for that?”

He pondered for a moment. “Avoid the DMV, and maybe get a helmet.”

Finale: Couch Lock and Victory

Exhausted, Marla collapsed onto her couch. Her cat, Mr. Noodle, hopped onto her lap and promptly fell asleep.

“Well, at least one of us doesn’t have a brain rebellion,” she said, scratching his head.

As she stared at the ceiling, she realized something: It had been a ridiculous day, sure, but she made it through—wobbles, spills, and all.

And that, she decided, deserved a celebratory snack.

…Which she immediately dropped.

Because of course.