Day 36 of 40 Days of Lent: Preparing for Marriage God’s Way

Beautiful imagery by @Koolshooters from City of Angels

Scripture Focus:

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” — Proverbs 18:22 (ESV)

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” — Proverbs 31:30 (NIV)

“No one knows the day or the hour…” — Matthew 24:36 (ESV)

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” — Psalm 127:1 (NIV)

Reflection

The Bible is clear: women are not instructed to go out and find a husband. Instead, Scripture emphasizes preparation, refinement, and alignment. The sacred instruction is this: “He who finds a wife…”—not she who finds a man.

Like the parable of the ten virgins, who prepared their lamps in case the bridegroom came at night (Matthew 25:1–13), a woman walks in wisdom by preparing herself as a wife before she is ever approached. Preparation is not about performing—it’s about positioning. Positioning your heart, your habits, and your household to reflect the grace of Proverbs 31: strength, dignity, wisdom, and readiness.

The Genesis of Readiness: The Camel Test

When Abraham sent a servant to find a wife for Isaac, the man prayed for a sign. He said, “Let the woman who not only gives me water but offers it to my camels also be the one.” (Genesis 24:14 paraphrased) This wasn’t a test of flirtation—it was a test of character. Rebekah didn’t just serve water—she served willingly, abundantly, and without request. She revealed who she was without ever knowing she was being watched.

This story teaches us: you won’t always know when God is watching—but He always is. So, be in preparation. In service. In surrender.

What Makes a Man Ready to Find a Wife?

• A man who finds a wife must first find himself in God.

• He must be a builder of vision, home, and truth.

• He must be a covering—emotionally, spiritually, and prayerfully.

• He must be a listener—able to lead, but also hear God through his wife.

• He must be willing to leave and cleave (Genesis 2:24)—cutting ties to immature ways to become a faithful husband.

What Makes a Good Husband and Wife During Marriage?

• God is the third strand. Without Him, the cord frays (Ecclesiastes 4:12).

• They pray together. Regularly. Sincerely. Especially during conflict.

• They serve one another. As Christ serves the Church.

• They forgive quickly and often. Marriage will require it.

• They build altars, not arguments. Altars of prayer, praise, and peace in the home.

Spiritual Practices to Protect the Union:

1. Daily Prayer Together: Even if it’s short, it builds intimacy and shields the home.

2. Fasting as a Couple: Set aside time to fast together for clarity, breakthrough, or gratitude.

3. Weekly Sabbath Check-ins: How is your heart? How is your spirit? What do you need from me this week?

4. Anoint the Home: Pray over your space with oil and scripture.

5. Guard the Marriage Bed: No comparisons, no outsiders, no digital temptations. Keep it holy.

How to Honor God in the Dating Phase:

If you are interested in someone who may not yet understand your spiritual walk, let them know kindly but firmly:

“I deeply admire who you are, and I’m drawn to you. But I want to honor God in how I move forward in love. That means taking things slowly, seeking spiritual clarity, and letting God lead. I want a relationship that is built on more than attraction—a foundation that will stand storms, not just enjoy sunshine.”

This isn’t about withholding love—it’s about protecting it. Marriage is not a reward for romance. It’s a responsibility to kingdom governance.

Prayer for the Journey:

Lord, Make me ready—not just for partnership but for purpose. Make me bold in boundary, gracious in preparation, and wise enough to wait for the kind of love that honors You. Bless my future husband or wife, wherever they are. Let our hearts be kept by You until we meet. Teach us to build on the rock, not the sand. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Lenten Reflection Questions

• Am I preparing or performing?

• How do I respond when no one is watching?

• Have I let God into my ideas about love—or am I still trying to lead myself?

Closing Word

Love isn’t built in the finding. It’s built in the foundation. May your Lenten season bring you closer to the kind of love that lasts—One built on faith, on truth, and on a God who makes all things beautiful in His time.

xoxo,