Day 20 of 40 Days of Lent: Where Were They? Loyalty, Betrayal, and the Call to Honest Relationships.

As we enter this Lenten season, a time for reflection, repentance, and preparation, let us turn our eyes to one of the most poignant aspects of Jesus' final hours: His abandonment by His closest friends. The disciples, those who walked with Him, who ate with Him, who saw miracles and heard the Word made flesh, fled when it mattered most. Peter denied Him. Judas betrayed Him. Yet, even in that darkness, Christ's loyalty, love, and forgiveness did not waver.

Today, we ask ourselves: What does this teach us about loyalty, honesty, and faithfulness in our own relationships—whether with friends, spouses, or community?

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Scripture Foundation (NIV)

• John 15:13-15 (NIV)

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants... Instead, I have called you friends."

• Luke 22:54-62 The account of Peter denying Jesus three times and his bitter weeping afterward.

• Matthew 26:47-50 Judas betrays Jesus with a kiss.

• Proverbs 18:24

"One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

• Proverbs 31:10-12

"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her..."

• 1 Corinthians 13:6-7

"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Fair-Weather Friends and the Fracturing of Fellowship

When Jesus was arrested, the disciples scattered like leaves in the wind. How could it be that the very men who swore loyalty abandoned Him? It reminds us how shallow relationships crumble under pressure when they’re built on convenience, not covenant.

Who are the people in our lives who stand beside us only when it’s easy? And more importantly, are we those people to others?

In our friendships, marriages, and communities, we must ask: Have we built something sturdy enough to withstand storms, or merely something pleasant enough to pass the time? Christ's relationship with His disciples shows us how fragile human loyalty can be. But it also offers us a mirror—an invitation to do better.

Judas' Kiss: When Betrayal Wears a Smile

Matthew 26:49 

This verse paints a haunting picture: Judas approaches Jesus in Gethsemane, greets Him with, "Greetings, Rabbi!" and kisses Him. This is betrayal wrapped in affection. How often, in our relationships, do we put on smiles and pleasantries while harboring dishonesty, resentment, or self-interest? Judas kissed Jesus, but his heart was aligned elsewhere. It begs us to examine whether our outward displays of loyalty match the integrity of our hearts.

Peter's Denial: The Cost of Comfort Over Courage

Peter's story is heart-wrenching. His love for Jesus was genuine, yet when faced with danger, he denied even knowing Him. Fear, self-preservation, and societal pressure cracked Peter's loyalty.

But notice: Peter wept bitterly. His remorse becomes a key difference between a betrayal that ends in destruction and one that opens the door to reconciliation.

How many times do we choose silence or distance rather than defending or supporting a friend, spouse, or community member? True loyalty isn't proven when it's easy but when it costs us.

Covenant vs. Convenience: God's Standard of Loyalty

God calls us to build relationships based on covenant, not convenience. Marriage, friendships, partnerships—they must be rooted in honesty, trust, and a willingness to weather hardship.

Proverbs 31 speaks of a wife whose value is above rubies because she is steadfast, honest, and reliable. Similarly, Proverbs 18:24 reminds us that there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. These aren't passive traits; they require intentional cultivation.

Do we embody that kind of loyalty in our relationships? Or do we bail when things no longer serve us?

Hope and Restoration After Failure

Here's the grace: After His resurrection, Jesus did not shame Peter. Instead, He asked, "Do you love Me?" three times—one for each denial—and restored him. Our relationships may falter. We may fail to be honest, loyal, or courageous. But Lent reminds us of the power of repentance, honesty, and rebuilding. Honesty opens the door to healing. Loyalty keeps the door open through trials. Selfless love locks the door against betrayal.

Loyalty in Our Time

In a culture that prizes disposable relationships, half-truths, and self-interest, the call of Christ to honest, loyal, and faithful relationships is radical.

What would it look like to:

• Be friends who show up no matter what?

• Build marriages founded on trust, not transaction?

• Foster communities where honesty is valued over appearance?

Lent is a time to ask ourselves these questions, not out of guilt, but out of a desire to reflect Christ's unwavering loyalty.

Closing Prayer

Lord, You remained faithful even when Your friends fled. Teach us to be loyal when it costs us, honest when it is hard, and forgiving when we are hurt. Shape our friendships, marriages, and communities in Your image—steadfast, true, and full of grace. Ameen, Ase, Amen.

Ms. Lauryn Hill: Forgive Them Father

Xoxo,